How NOT to act:  accuse your VP of snorting coke while at a department birthday celebration:

lady to VP:  what is on your pants? (concerning a white chalk powder substance)
VP: oh, I don't know... (wipes it off and looks at pamphlet he's holding) some sort of powder is coming out of this thing
My boss:  ohhh really (sort of teasing)
me:  WHAT do you do in your meetings?!  No wonder you're always racing around here! (joking)
VP: oh, I didn't think of that sort of powder
me:  uhh... me neither... SO.. this cake is good
VP: talk about a CLM
my boss: a what?
VP: Career Limiting Move (joking I think - laughs and goes to his next meeting)

SO, I hope y'all can support me when I get fired and all ;o)

Addition from Misty:  Another way not to act:  Don't tell your office you're applying to law school.  I told ONE person, because I needed a recommendation letter.  I didn't want to tell anyone, but I was afraid UT would think it odd if I didn't have a rec letter from somone I work with since I work at a law office.  I told him I didn't want anyone else to know yet.  So what does he do?  Tells the othe 2 attorneys in the firm, who then told my boss.  Amongst the much closed-door drama around here the last 2 days is, since they need to cut back, whether they should just let me go since I might be quitting in 6 months anyway!  Geez!  I knew I should have just gone without that extra rec letter.  I knew this would happen.  Luckily, it looks like I won't be let go after all, but still, that's scary!  What if I lost my job, and then didn't even get in?  That's what my boss told the higher-up people--"She doesn't even know if she got in, and she may not go if she does get in, so we should just pretend like it's not even an issue."   

A little background:  my cousin was marrying a Ukrainian woman he met online and has been dating for 2 years.  She needed a maid of honor and since I'm the only one they knew who met the requirements (gorgeous and fun, oh wait… I mean not married and no kids) I got the honors.

This story is really difficult to begin because there are so
many funny things that I just can't remember it all.  I suppose I can leave out things like the airplane shaped cheese crackers that we got as plane snacks, that I don't think the bride showers or wears deodorant, and how my grandmother farted and stunk up the room we were sharing for over an hour, etc.  

There's so much more, but here are the high points:  So the first time I meet S (only using initials in case someone googles her) she looked a lot like a stripper.  She had a fur coat, high heel boots that make her tall-normous and her hair was bleach blonde, curly and up half way in a scrunchie (yes, an actual scrunchie).  I spent a lot of time with her the night before the wedding and the morning of (I was the only one who understood her accent and the groom couldn't see her).  I shouldn't forget to mention that there was no rehearsal because the minister decided to go to D.C. and couldn't make it back in time.  The morning of the wedding the groom and I went up to the church to TRY to get filled in.  I've done this a million times so I was ok, but this was his first wedding so he needed some information. Then I had to go back and try to explain to S how weddings work, and that she'd have to repeat after the minister, where to stand, etc.  We took a limo to the church, and the ceremony went pretty well.  When she repeated her vows she sounded like she was asking questions though "To love and honor?  To cherish?  Till we are parted by death?" After that the best man and I got into the limo with them and we went to take pictures around Cooperstown.  The pictures in the snow should turn out pretty, but it was sooo cold.  We got champagne in the limo and then the reception was open bar.  The best man has been in as many weddings as me, so it is obvious that we were chosen by our resumes.  If anyone is getting married I am available to work the bridesmaid side.  Next came the cake cutting.  I tried to explain to S that when they feed each other cake she should smear it on his face a little, but as soon as she cut the cake she grabbed it and smashed it on his face.  He eventually got a little smear on her face, at which point she reaches into the cake and grabs a handful and totally covers my cousin in cake.  I think it was a little pent up aggression in there.  She trotted happily back to me and said "I did it right, no?" Somewhere around this point the bride made me procure a cigarette and lighter from the best man's girlfriend because she needed to smoke and her "husband" doesn't know she smokes. After the reception a group of us went to the bowling alley that my cousin's parents own and had more beers on the house.  I got a gift for being their maid of honor – a Ukrainian facemask, French nail polish, and some silver hoop earrings.  So, if you read Ukrainian and want to tell me what this facemask does, let me know.  I had a lot of fun, and really like S who said "We will be friends, and I will take you to Kiev and we will meet men," the morning after her wedding.

Hi everyone, it's Steph.  So I'm not as interesting as Misty, but she gave me posting priveledges and I added some pictures.  I'll add more soon - I just wanted to see if I could figure it out.  It's important to do stuff like this since I should be packing because I'm moving in a week, but I figured packing 5 boxes was as much focus as I would get out of tonight.

Do you ever notice girls, that when you are out shopping or eating with a boy it seems like you are always pulling out your debit or credit card when a guy is pulling out cash? I think guys have an endless supply of cash in their wallets. I can never keep cash so I don't even try. 48 cents on my debit card? Suuuuure - why not? My excuse is that my bank is in Georgetown. I use HEB as an ATM when I can, but besides that, it's plastic for me and I'm ok with that. But, I've been trying to think of reasons why guys think they must always have cash, and I think I've made a nice list on their behalf. So, if the male gender keeps paying for this sort of stuff listed below, we can continue using our debit cards as we please ladies!

1. Their favorite color is green.
2. To m ake wallets useful.
3. In case of a spur-of-the-moment date with you.
4. strippers
5. To give to homeless men.
6. They don't have bank accounts.
7. They are all drug dealers.
8. They travel a lot (that was Teddy's excuse - and he didn't get killed by a bull by the way)
9. They're going to pay you when you're done.
10. They're illegal immigrants.
11. In case they have to flee the country.
12. Strippers
13. Cabs
14. They think putting $1 on a debit card is ridiculous.
15. To roll up and snort coke with.
16. To fold up and play flick football with.
17. Vending machines
18. Jukeboxes
19. Paying for parking
20. To buy supplies to kill you with without being traced.
21. bets/poker (we know how it never works when you say "I'll take your bet and raise you my girlfriend.")
22. It's easier to pay ransoms in cash.
23. Laundry machines.
24. To make calls on pay phones
25. Strippers

Addendum to Steph's entry: As one of the joys of working at a law office, sitting right here at my little computer I have access to just about any information on anyone you want...give me names and I'll find out every address they've ever lived at. Do they have drug convictions or arrests? I can tell you! (With the guys I tend to date, this is important to know!) ;) Now...on to Steph's musings...

OK, anyone who found this blog by Googling “Girls Gone Wild,” you can return to your results page, because there are no boobies to be seen here. I’m thinking wild as in a personal crazy sort of way. Do you ever get this huge urge to Google an ex-boyfriend? Of course…everyone knows that people do it. I mean, you want to see where he lives or what he’s doing…see if he’s been in jail maybe? But, the thing I most commonly do is go to the website of a particular med school, look up my ex-boyfriend and stare at his email address for about 5 minutes daring myself to open up my hotmail and send him an email. I’m pretty sure that if he opened up his email and saw my name in there he’d do one of a few things 1) think “yeah… I can have any girl I want…Stephanie still wants me after 3 years of not dating” (which isn’t true) 2) lock his doors, close the blinds, and plan an alternate route to class 3) forward it to his girlfriend to prove that she’s not as crazy as me (but she is much much more crazy as we all know) 4) stare at it in shock or 5) hit delete without opening. But really, I mean, the med school lists his address too…it’s not like I’m going to go do a drive by (well…Houston would be a long drive by anyway) so since I wouldn’t do that should I not email? Don’t worry Barbara…I’m not going to be crazy and email him…it’s just a little game I like to play. But, since I’m about to add a new ex-boyfriend to the list this weekend, I just wanted to check out the rules since I’ll have one more person to Google now.